Learning Taijiquan

03Oct09

Most of the people frequenting my blog are probably wondering if I have come out of my gloom and sorrow and pain over MJ’s death. Well, here’s a post to tell them that those dark clouds of gloom faded relatively quickly and I was back to my good old self in no time. What has kept me from writing is basically:

a) A lack of inspiration
b) And lack of time and patience

Or maybe I am not managing my time well enough. Trying to do to much all at once can also lead to a situation when you are not sure what exactly you want to do first. It’s the kind of feeling when an 8th grader picks up his chemistry book only to realize soon that he has plenty of work to do in biology and mathematics too. I’ve been trying to pick up a few books too lately, details of which are probably beyond the scope of this post. In short, all of them are technology related, some from computer sciences, and some related to piping design codes and standards. Prioritizing which ones I should read first is turning into quite a challenge, and I am trying to make myself realize that slow and steady (and consistently) usually wins the race.

There is something that is taking up a lot of my ‘brain space’ nowadays, and it happens to be something related to my old passion for the martial arts. I have been studying Taijiquan (better known as Tai Chi) nowadays, and so far have learned how to do the most basic 24 form sequence of the simplified Yang version of this beautiful art. Mr. Yang was a great fighter in his days (a long long time ago), and he developed a simplified version of the original Chen style of Taijiquan (Tai Chi Boxing) for some people who were interested in learning this art.

If I had known about Taijiquan earlier, I wouldn’t have taken up Karate. But I think I am lucky to have learned a hard external art like Karate first, because it has certainly given me a clear understanding of basic body mechanics involved in techniques which most of the martial arts share, be it internal or external martial arts. But the transition from Karate to Taijiquan can be a challenge, because I am used to quick powerful blows and strong breathing, and the Yang form’s Silk Reeling involves extremely gentle and slow movements. But this gentle and slow movements are an amazing, amazing workout. I have been working on my legs for some time ever since I came to Islamabad, but all those workouts were nothing as compared to the hard work my legs had to do when practicing the 24 Yang form correctly. The muscles in my legs were sore for a couple of days, particular the frontal muscles, the glutes because of the stretching, and the hamstring. And I have noticed a marked improvement in my movements and balance.

So in order to advance my knowledge of this beautiful art, I went out one night looking for a good book on Taijiquan in Islamabad, although I wasn’t very hopeful. I have one book in sights which you can look up on Amazon at this location. I’ll ask one of the booksellers to order that if I’m unable to find it in the shops. I first went around the Super market but found nothing but old Yoga, Atkins diet and other sissy books meant for commercial rather than informative purpose. Disappointed, I headed off the Saeed Book Bank in Jinnah Super and started searching there in the hobbies section. Nothing but Taekwondo, Shotokan Karate, and general books on martial arts. Then I found the wonder of all wonders… a computer with a search feature in it which the shop had installed for the benefit of its customers. Searching up Tai Chi spilled out a number of books in the found list, and I asked one of the attendants to direct me to their location. He took me to a corner of the large shop where no one usually came, and showed me a few books on Tai Chi, Qi Gong, I-Ching, and the Tao philosophy. When I pulled out one of the Tai Chi books, I was amazed to see that it was a book about the 24 basic movements which I had learned, and cost around a thousand rupees. What was most disappointing was to read the first few lines which were something like:

Tai Chi is an ancient form of exercise…

I think I need not go any further. Most of the books on that shelf were the types which portrayed Tai Chi as an exercise system, and not a complete martial art. It’s disappointing to see something so beautiful commercialized to this extent.

Anyway, I walked out of the shop, thinking of ordering that book from Amazon instead of wasting my time looking in shops in Lahore and Islamabad. Oh yeah, forgot about Lahore. I went to Readings too a week ago. They’ve set up a nice little coffee shop and reading place in one corner, but the books are mostly the old ones. I wanted to buy Kafka, but my priorities on finishing those technology books made me change my mind.

So I guess that’s what’s on my mind nowadays, and now you know. Taijiquan has been beneficial to me in a variety of ways, and I have only started it. I am excited to learn the more advanced forms but I want to concentrate on the basics and solidify them before I move on.

Filed under: books, exercise, martial arts   |  4 Comments
Tags: books, martial arts, taijiquan

Shocked and Saddened at Michael Jackson’s death

26Jun09

I am deeply saddened and shocked today after reading the news about the King of Pop, Michael Jackson’s death. I knew that the day would come, but I never knew it would come so soon as so suddenly. I still can’t believe that it’s happened and something inside me keeps telling me that it’s all a hoax and that he lives and breathes somewhere in this world.

I grew up listening to and dancing to MJ. I am what I am today partially because of his influence. He was someone who filled me with unlimited joy whenever I saw him, and now he is reported to be no more. He was magical… something totally out of this world. Some of my very old friends still call me by his name… and I am sure that I will break into tears if anyone of them does so now.

Reading the news I feel that a large part of my world has just died. He was one of the very few personalities that I loved dearly, even though we were thousands of miles apart, and even though we had never met.

You will forever live in my heart MJ. I love you very much. Rest in Peace.

Filed under: Uncategorized   |  7 Comments
Tags: king of pop, michael jackson, mj

The Greenstar Song: Man I’m so ‘Touched’

14Jun09

There’s been a lot of buzz regarding those Greenstar ads and songs that have been aired on the private TV channels during commercial breaks in those good-for-nothing cricket matches, so I thought I should write a few words about those delightful promotions of a stretchy rubbery contraceptive called Touch Condoms. After all, we do need to be careful when it comes to family planning and all that (all that?!) in this day and age, or us males would all end up doing multiple jobs and our females working as teachers in the morning at that kids school in the slums. And by the time we get home from work, we would be too exhausted to even think of putting the stretchy rubbery contraceptive to any good use.

So what does this new Greenstar ad say? Well, the story is well told, the models are quite cute (the female ones, mind you), the dressing and costumes are all good, and the song itself isn’t too bad either. It starts off with our hero sitting with a bunch of loafers and class bunkers in some kind of playground strumming on his guitar and singing the greenstar song (I suppose he was well educated in the art of the stretchy rubbery contraceptive before he was married… that’s probably what they wanted to show, no?). Then up comes a lovely young lady with her books clutched to her chest and admires our hero wasting time playing his guitar. He, OTOH, ogles this lovely lady, and probably decides somewhere deep inside the dark recesses of his perverted mind that this is the woman I want to go to bed with.

And so, the stupid story goes on and takes a turn when our hero is found by our heroine sitting right opposite to him while she is working on his laptop. Apparently she finds that quite amusing, and they then exchange telephone numbers, which lead to late night cell-phone conversations with both of them lying on their stomachs on their respective beds. Our hero’s dad sees his very able (oh yes very able indeed) young lad talking to someone on the phone, and probably reminisces of his good old days, when he used to lie down on his belly on his manja on the rooftop of his grandparents and admire the picture of a burqa-clad woman (who later became his wife). No I’m just kidding, he didn’t lie on a rooftop or admire the picture of a burqa-clad woman.

So then our hero goes to the girls house with his parents and they exchange sweets and stuff. The girl is watching from an opening in the drawing rooms door, and her brother tells her how cool her boyfriend is through sign language. Being a mashriqi woman, she brushes him off shyly, and continues to witness the scenes that were about the change her life for ever and ever, and ever… and ever (you can add another and ever if you like).

Then they get married. She’s looking wonderful as a bride, and he’s looking stupid as ever as a groom. He holds her hand… she looks at him in the eye. It’s the beginning of a new journey for the both of them. They go on honeymoons, have romantic times sitting by a huge fire, taking pictures of themselves with a cell-phone, and other stuff.

Finally, our heroine gets pregnant and gives birth at the hospital. Now here is where our hero receives some kind of brochure for the stretchy rubbery contraceptive (I might as well abbreviate that as SRC) from a lady doctor. Why a lady doctor? Well, I guess that has more to do with the fact that gynea doctors are females rather than males. He takes the brochure with shock and awe, wondering why the lady doctor wants me to produce less offspring. “I’m a Pakistani for God’s sake! It’s my duty to produce more babies! Besides, what will my friends say if I don’t?!” Nevertheless, the happy couple starts practicing the art of the the stretchy (no, they don’t show that in the song), and the song finally ends with the heroine tucking their daughter in bed, and then going off with her hero for some ‘happy time’.

This song/ad gives a sort of standard procedure for getting married, IMO, and according to the song, it is supposed to start from the University. So if you’re still young and going to get into University, do keep in mind that you are doing so not only because you want to get an education which would give you a well paying job, but also because that you will find your life partner there. Neat, isn’t it? So in a way the government is encouraging people to send their children to co-ed schools where they can have their son sit in a playground strumming a guitar, and watch lovely girls go by, picturing each one of them with him in bed. I guess the fundos need to understand this and stop criticizing co-ed schools. They make life very easy for the parents, and for the children.

The song also tells that the use of the SRC is good only if used by loafers like our guitar strumming hero, because they’re the ones who are usually high on testosterone and are always on the lookout for opportunities to get laid. So if you’re NOT a guitar strumming guy who sits in the college park or canteen with his ‘friends’ talking about shitty things like Atif Aslam, then you do not need to use the SRC. You are free to produce as many offspring as you like and make yourself mentally and your wife physically retarded and sick for the rest of your lives. It’s the guitar strumming guy who leads a better life, because he’s high on hormones, and he gets all the rubber.

To cut a long story short, the Touch Condoms are not for you if you:

1. Did not find your life partner in college while strumming a guitar
2. Do not have a laptop which you can use to surprise your potential boyfriend/girlfriend with
3. Do not have a cell-phone and plenty of daddy’s money to waste on late night chats with your boyfriend/girlfriend
4. Are not beautiful
5. Blah blah blah…

Have fun everyone!

Filed under: chewythoughts, satire   |  4 Comments
Tags: condoms, contraception, family planning, greenstar, marriage, media, pakistan, satire, song

Ufone’s Annoying Advertising Methods

01Jun09

Lately, Ufone’s SMS’s regarding new offers and stupid stuff like ringtone downloads are really bothering me. And just when I was thinking of calling them up to lodge a complaint, I get a call from a certain Ufone Help. I thought Wow, they’re getting really efficient. But when I answer the phone and say a partial “Hello” I am greeted by a stupid Ufone robot who tells me about some other stupid offer. What is this man? Calling your customers to advertise your stupid offers? I think Ufone is beginning to suck more and more now, despite their high claims in their stupid showy adverts.

If Ufone doesn’t stop this nonsense, I would consider changing my connection to Warid or Telenor.

Filed under: Uncategorized   |  8 Comments
Tags: ads, advertising, gsm, telenor, ufone, warid

From my seat on KFC’s first floor

31May09

((I wrote this post originally for the Islamabad Metblogs Blog. You can read the original entry here. Post your comments there.))

Well, here I am again in the Super market, wandering around aimlessly and filling my lungs with fresh Islamabadi air (mixed with popular brands of perfume, the stench of garbage cans, the smell of sweaty under arms, and the hormonal discharge of emotionally charged adolescents). Having brisk walked around the area for over an hour, I was beginning to feel hungry, and so I decided to go to the KFC outlet for my favorite snack of a chicken nuggets combo meal with an Arabian rice add-on. I hadn’t eaten something unhealthy in quite sometime, so I thought it would be nice if I could treat my taste buds to something Finger Lickin’ Good.

Since I’m a regular KFC customer and keep ordering those nuggets at my place whenever I feel like getting my arteries blocked with cholesterol, the delivery guy wandering around the counter recognized me and made sure that I got my order in time. And soon my hot star shaped nuggets came sliding down their delivery cabinet and were served in a disposable paper plate along with the unusually salty fries by their side. Since the lower floor was being renovated, I had to go to the first floor to have my meal.

What I have felt during my three year stay in Islamabad (my personal observation) is that people here like going to the KFC outlet more than McDonalds, whereas in Lahore McDonalds is far more popular than KFC as you’ll usually see every McDonalds outlet in Lahore spilling with people who are dying to sink their teeth in a juicy slab of chicken or beef meat (stop drooling, you’ll short circuit your keyboard). Accessibility maybe? With McDonalds far away in F-10 near that park thingy (Fatima Jinnah probably?), people would rather prefer going to the more accessible KFC in the Super, a market place where people are found anyway at any time (except for later in the night after 11, which I think is quite sad). I would personally rate the McDonalds Big Mac more chunkier and juicier than the KFC’s Zinger, the latter having tarnished my image of the much likened burger after I received it in a messy condition at my place. And for some reason I have this feeling that food served at the KFC is more unhealthier than that served at McDonalds.

No comparing McDonalds fries with KFC’s though! Nicely served, crisp and hot and appropriately salted, the McDonalds’ fry is the perfect sidekick to an equally good Big Mac burger, unlike the KFC fry which is a bit more oilier and inappropriately salted. The taste of the fry should be uniform; it should penetrate the flesh of the potato and be homogenous throughout the fry. Because if you chew on a piece of fry with a non-uniform taste, you would see that it is saltier on the outside, but not as salty on the inside, giving you an incomplete taste in the mouth. When you bite a fry, your brain expects the same lovely salty potato taste on the inside too, and when your tongue does not find it, the brain is disappointed. And that’s why McDonald’s fries are better than KFC’s… they just have a nice uniform taste in addition to the crispiness and freshness.

I guess we’ve dissected the fry a bit too much than was necessary.

The first floor of the KFC outlet seemed like a children’s area with balloons everywhere and lovely greeting cards self-made by children pasted to every window of the outlet. I found some of the cards very very touching. Here’s a window covered with cards the children made for their mothers, probably for mothers day:

There’s all sorts of lovely things written on them. The kids have been very creative about expressing their love for their mother in these cards. There was stuff like: There is nothing more comfortable in this world than a mother’s lap.

But I find this quite strange. Not that the kids are expressing their love for their mothers, but that a multi-national fast food outlet that serves fried chicken with potato fries and a soft drink in a disposable glass has children’s emotions splattered all over their walls. Why is a fast food outlet stressing so much on a child’s love for this mother? Is it because they want to improve their sales by attracting more children? Is it because they are using the cover of Mother’s Day to get more customers? Is it because this outlet is in a way educating these children to respect KFC more, and by doing so are preparing them to be KFC addicts in the future? Or does KFC truly and honestly respects a child’s love for his or her mother and is proudly displaying it on their windows with these cards that the children made? Quite strange if you think of it.

It didn’t take me much time to finish what I had in my plates, but what I usually look forward to eating at KFC is the Arabian Rice. I often find myself ordering two plates of Arabian Rice, one as an add-on which costs Rs. 40, and one separate, which costs me Rs. 75 I believe. It’s that combination of the rich chicken flavor with the capsicum, the peppercorn and the green chilli that makes this rice so irresistible. I tried making it at home but wasn’t very successful with it. The only difference was the absence of chicken; I had put chicken stock in it instead. But it did come near to the real thing.

With plenty of time to waste I thought I should send up a few tweets through my cellphone. But then I wondered if there was a WiFi internet connection in the outlet. Quite a ridiculous thought, but when I scanned for wireless internet I found a LOT of them! And everytime I ran the scan I found new ones. The first one in the picture on the left gave me 100% signal strength, so that probably was the KFC’s connection. There was another one for the Chopsticks restaurant right next to the KFC outlet, and this too was an unsecured open connection. The others had either WPA or WEP encryption, so I couldn’t get through them. But I spent my time there comfortably tweeting through the KFC and the Chopsticks WiFi connection. So if anyone of you is on the move and is looking out for a good internet connection to post a blog, check e-mails or work, then just sit around the KFC area and you’ll get a good signal.

And after having my meal, I walked back home, made two glasses of nice salted lassi with a kulcha, and went to bed with the thought that by the time I wake up in the morning, my body would have had absorbed the proteins from the nuggets and patched up my muscle tissue with it, the fries would have provided the much needed carbohydrate, and the rice a truckload of calories to burn on another walk on a Saturday afternoon.

Filed under: eateries, islamabad   |  3 Comments
Tags: arabian rice, chicken nuggets, fries, islamabad, KFC, market, mothers day, psp, super, wifi

Rules of Customer Focus

28May09

From the Lokring website (http://www.lokring.com/copro.htm)

1. A Customer is the most important person in any business.

2. A Customer is not dependent on us; we are dependent on the Customer.

3. A Customer is not an interruption of our work; a Customer is the purpose of our work.

4. A Customer does us a favor by calling; we are not doing the Customer a favor by serving him or her.

5. A Customer is part of our business, not an outsider.

6. A Customer is not a cold statistic, but a flesh and blood human being with feelings and emotions like our own.

7. A Customer is not someone to argue or match wits with.

8. A Customer is someone who brings us work; it is our job to fill those needs.

9. A Customer deserves the most courteous and attentive treatment we can give.

10. A Customer is the lifeblood of this business.

Filed under: chewythoughts   |  1 Comment
Tags: business, customer, lokring

Carrefour in Lahore

25May09

Back in Abudhabi there was a huge store called Carrefour near the Marina Mall in what previously was known as the breakwater. It’s a huge warehouse type super market for everything. And much to my astonishment and glee, Carrefour has opened its outlet here in Lahore right next to Bundu Khan in the Fortress Stadium, but with the name Hyperstar. This place is spilling with shoppers on the weekends; you can’t find a reasonable place to park your car even with those two floors of huge parking space. Hyperstar is certainly a sight for sore eyes, and has definitely served to improve the living standards of Lahoris.

What I particularly enjoyed seeing there were the chestnuts, the rabbits, the the same pineapple juicer and slicer stall that was in the Abudhabi version too, the buthcery, and their extensive range of wonderful bakery items. You can get all those lovely herbs (although imported and expensive) there which you only get to see on the BBC Food channel. It was like being in Abudhabi while staying here in Lahore, very nostalgic. Me and my parents just shopped on the ground floor food items section last Saturday and didn’t go on the first floor where all the other items like electronics were… we’ve left that for next weekend.

I just hope that the place is kept clean, and is maintained well by whoever is managing this store. Things usually tend to deteriorate after sometime here in Pakistan, but I hope Carrefour would keep their standards high.

Just can’t wait to buy those chestnuts in winter!

Filed under: lahore, metropolis, shopping   |  3 Comments
Tags: carrefour, fortress stadium, hyperstar, lahore

Introducing Sam the Feral Cat

24May09

Been some time since I last posted on my blog. Here are a few catty pictures to get you refreshed. These are pictures of Sam, a new male feral cat visiting the house recently. He’s more friendly and less afraid than Mao, although he does get a big nervous sometimes when someone tries to bother him too much. I like his cute little triangular head and his aoonn sound instead of the usual cattish meow.

Filed under: cats   |  2 Comments
Tags: cats, feral, islamabad, pictures

Kill the Talibans!

29Apr09

Flush them bloody talibans out of the country! I don’t understand why the government can even think of having ‘discussions’ with them. They are a crazy lot with no religion. Destroy them! Pakistanis will not tolerate oppression by those retards. If they dare to destroy the peace of our cities and try to enforce their ill laws on us, the people will crush them!

Spread the message! Pakistanis will not tolerate the talibans! And lets make sure those idiots, who think that we need their help, get this message too!

Filed under: terrorism   |  2 Comments
Tags: pakistan, talibans, terrorism

Down the Mall Road – Part 2

12Apr09

Ok, it’s been a bit late since I last wrote the first part of this post, but better late than never.

Some of the Lahore dwelling readers might be aware of the fact that the former Prime Minister Pervez Elahi banned the entry of non-CNG rickshaws on the Mall sometime ago. I hired one of them in front of the traffic headquarters. He demanded 70 rupees to take me to the Hall Road. The fare sounded a bit high to me, but the route that he later took to get me there deserved a 70 rupees fare. I think he cut through the Mall Road a couple of times by following a zig-zag path to get me to my destination. If it were a CNG rickshaw, he could have taken me straight down the Mall Road for around 50 rupees.

This was the first time I had seen the Hall Road in such detail. The last time I came here I was too worried about getting the right kind of Shaheen television antenna for our old home near Krishan Nagar, and didn’t bother much about the other shops around. But this time I did a little more research, and realized that this place had to offer more than one could even imagine, that too at quite reasonable prices. The PS2 fixing shop that I was looking for was said to be somewhere near a naala in the bazaar, so I set out to look for a naala in the overly crowded and active marketplace.

After 10 minutes of walking, I could not find the naala or the shop, but I did find any other shop in a street that branched off from the main Hall Road. The guy at the shop took me to their ‘lab’ somewhere in another small street where other hardware repair shops were set up. When I reached the shop I found the main repair guy and a customer having an extremely heated argument over a PS2 that the customer wanted fixed as soon as possible. It was strange to see the repair guy angry and the customer cowering like a little diseased chicken. You don’t get to see scenes like these every day!

My turn came after half an hour of waiting, during which the repair guy was busy ‘modding’ some kids PS2 which he had bought abroad. The repair guy examined my system and told me that the lens was too damn weak and would probably require replacement. I agreed to the Rs. 2800 price that he put on the new lens and headed off to have lunch.

A Subway outlet is located right in front of the Mall Road entry to the Hall Road in Regal Chowk. They didn’t have olives that day because the supply hadn’t arrived. And I wasn’t surprised at that given the fact that the outlet was located in a place where the number of the type of people who usually visit outlets like these would be significantly lower for a particular day as compared to a similar outlet in a place like the Y-Block Commercial Area in the DHA. But I did see an uppity femme fatale walk past me when I got my order and headed for the nearest seat next to the window. She went upstairs to the more ‘private’ sitting area of the outlet.

If only there were no rickshaws, no crazy vans, and that traffic was less noisy and more organized, the view of the Mall from where I was sitting would have been a view similar to that of any major road in London. Ever since I came to Lahore 10 years ago, I have noticed a change in the overall traffic attitude. It has definitely improved in some parts of the city, and that’s one good thing that I would congratulate our leaders for. But with the increasing number of vehicles the rate of pollution, noise, and chaos on the road is also increasing. Sooner or later Lahore would require more reliable, clean and safe transport facilities, and probably introduce a kind of road tax for every vehicle, something like paying Rs. 100 to drive on the roads everyday. That would really regulate the traffic and give the government some much needed extra moolah, provided it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.

I imagined a fast moving magnetic train zooming past the shop on an elevated railway track running parallel to the Mall Road.

With the sandwich sent to the depths of my digestive system I crossed the Mall and re-entered the Hall Road. A tonga was blocking the traffic and the skinny traffic warden was trying his best to get it out of the way. An equally skinny but fair and brown bearded Khan sahib was hunched over with a dozen CRT monitors tied to his back as he swiftly sprinted down one of the streets. A shopkeeper spit his pan out on the road and resumed talking to his customer. Loud music was blaring out of one of the shops which also had enormous LCD screens mounted to the walls showing images of Kingfishers flying around colorful flowers. This is Hall Road.

My PS2 appeared to be working fine now, and I felt happier seeing all my favorite games finally working on my system again. I paid the repair guy his due amount and putting the PS2 back in a shopper went out to hire another rickshaw. And this time I got it for only Rs. 200 back home!

Filed under: metropolis   |  2 Comments
Tags: DHA, electronics, hall road, lahore, mall road, ps2, subway